India Knight, writing in the Sunday Times, wishes a state-employed magician could come along and make her feel better about swine flu. As that’s not possible, she’s putting her faith in larceny and homeopathy.
We’re not supposed to take our swiney selves or our swiney children into doctors’ surgeries, and doctors are far too busy for house calls, so, as far as I can see, we’re all in the dark. Also, I don’t like the sound of Tamiflu, with its side effects and lack of long-term trials. But then I don’t like the sound of death, either.
No wonder every parent I spoke to last week was in a state of controlled panic — except for the ones who’ve had swine flu, who were all cheerful and said, “Pah, it’s not so bad; you just go to bed for a few days” — although they all said there was absolutely zero support or advice available to them other than: “Don’t go to work.”
This — “it’s not so bad” — had been my take on it until healthy people started dying. Now I’m hovering between, “Yes, but healthy people still die of normal flu — not many, but some, just as some women still die in childbirth and nobody gets pregnant and then starts running around wailing about death,” and, “Oh my God, oh my God, what are we going to do?”
So far I have failed to come up with a plan. I used my low journalistic cunning to sweet-talk two chemists into telling me where the stocks of Tamiflu for my area of London were held, so now I know where to break into if we suddenly find ourselves burning up in the middle of the night. And I’ve ordered some homeopathic remedies.
Update: In the comments, Eleanor suggests a dose of homeopathic A&E.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGIbOGu8q0[/youtube]
